Pathetic, Really
by Naodrith
Summary: Yugi's having a Christmas party, and Yami Bakura couldn't be more disgusted. Ryou x Bakura Christmassy fluff, hints of Yugi x Yami, not to mention Joey the Human Christmas Tree.


A/N: This is my first real slash story, so don't expect much. It is short, it is slashy, theirloveissoridiculous.  
  
Pathetic, Really  
  
by DarkMage Tygress  
  
Yami Bakura glared icily at Yugi. "Just what do you think you're doing?"  
  
Yugi smiled innocently at the tomb robber. "It's Christmas, and I'm having a party, and - "  
  
"Not that, I know that, you idiot. I meant this." The ex-thief pointed at the mistletoe hanging over every doorway in Yugi's house. "Could you be any more obvious?"  
  
Yugi blinked. "About what?"  
  
"We all know you're trying to score tonight with that /pharaoh/ of yours. Pathetic, really. Why did you make me come?" This last was addressed to Ryou, who was very busy stringing lights on anything that didn't move away, which included the long-suffering Joey. The blond had been tied up with tinsel after attempting to spike the drinks, and was having difficultly moving at all.  
  
Ryou smiled brightly. "It's the most wonderful time of the year," he sang. "Hold still, Joey."  
  
"I hate you all," Bakura announced, and just to prove it stole a popcorn ball off the tree.  
  
Joey hopped over to the punch bowl and kicked Tristan. "Get me something to drink," he commanded.  
  
Tristan laughed. "Hey, I have an idea. Let's get Tea to pierce your ears and we can hang ornaments from them."  
  
Joey squeaked in consternation and hopped quickly away, nearly crashing into the unhappy Bakura.  
  
Nearly an hour passed before Bakura finally got bored and decided that he didn't hate the others so much that he was unwilling to speak to them at all. He sidled up to the pharaoh. "Don't stand under the mistletoe."  
  
"Why not?" the oblivious Yami asked. "Is there something wrong with it?" He immediately moved into the doorway between the kitchen and living room, and was viciously attacked by Yugi.  
  
"This sucks," Bakura said, and stalked over to Joey, who had a popcorn ball stuck in his hair now. "Hey, you. Orgy over there. Why not go join?"  
  
"Oh, 'Kura," Ryou said, dragging his yami away from the human Christmas tree. "Don't be ridiculous. Yugi and Yami are not having an orgy."  
  
"Of course not. You need more than two to have a - "  
  
"That's not what I meant and you know it!"  
  
"Ryou, please let's leave. This is no longer fun. In fact, it was never fun. I am /this close/ to killing the pharaoh."  
  
The pharaoh in question had been dragged into a bedroom by Yugi, and thus the others were left unsupervised. Tristan and Tea had got hold of candy canes, and were attempting to get them to stick to Joey's ears, in an effort to avoid the ear-piercing ornaments idea.  
  
Ryou sighed and pointed to the window. "It's snowing. Did you even notice?"  
  
"Of course I noticed," said Bakura, who hadn't noticed.  
  
"Which means we'll have a white Christmas."  
  
"Am I supposed to care?"  
  
Ryou rolled his eyes. "I'm not giving you any presents, then."  
  
Bakura abandoned his holiday-loving hikari in favor of the kitchen, which he ransacked in search of something that was not red, green, or made of gingerbread.  
  
Ryou followed him and stood in the doorway, leaning idly against the doorframe. "You just don't have any Christmas spirit, that's all."  
  
"I do so," Bakura said, opening the refrigerator and taking out the bottle of milk contained therein. "I just don't particularly like parties, especially not when everybody else is getting paired off. It's pathetic, really."  
  
"Everyone is /not/ - "  
  
"I haven't seen Yugi and Yami for awhile, Joey and Tristan couldn't be more obvious if they tried, and I know for a fact that Tea is going to visit that Duke kid after the party."  
  
"What about me?"  
  
Bakura gave up on getting the milk open and turned to face his hikari, whose pale hair was turned various bright colors by the Christmas lights in the room beyond. "You - "  
  
...are standing under the mistletoe.  
  
Bloody hell.  
  
Ryou crossed his arms and pouted. "You are really not very observant."  
  
"If you think for one instant that I'm going to - "  
  
"You can't get out of the room unless you go through this door," Ryou pointed out. "And I am not moving."  
  
This provoked Bakura to the point that he tried to make a break for it, just to prove that he could. Ryou, being in a far more defensible position, easily blocked his yami, and wound his fingers in Bakura's silky hair.  
  
"That was just sad, for a tomb robber," Ryou whispered, and kissed his yami.  
  
It was surprisingly pleasant, Bakura thought. Ryou's mouth was warm and tasted of candy canes, and once the smaller boy was sure his yami wasn't going anywhere, he became delightfully submissive.  
  
Bakura finally pulled away, and stepped past his hikari into the living room. "That was pathetic, really."  
  
Ryou looked crestfallen.  
  
"I mean, you didn't even try to take the offensive, just waited until you had the mistletoe and everything. Could you /be/ more cliche?"  
  
"Get a room," Joey said. He was now wearing a Santa hat and reindeer horns. Bakura, feeling mischievous, plugged in the lights that decked out the blond, effectively blinding him.  
  
"Gladly," Bakura replied, and dragged Ryou into a spare room.  
  
Later, as they walked the two blocks to their house, Bakura chewed thoughtfully on the leg of a gingerbread man.  
  
"I still hate this time of year," he announced.  
  
Ryou laughed. "Oh, yes?"  
  
"It's pathetic, really."  
  
"I'm sure it is."  
  
"But I still get presents, right?"  
  
It wasn't until after he'd said that that Bakura happened to glance at Ryou. Snowflakes clung to his dark eyelashes, and he had a bit of tinsel stuck in his hair.  
  
"Screw that," Bakura amended. "I don't need presents."  
  
He tackled his hikari, and they tumbled into the new-fallen snow. The remainder of the gingerbread man was fatally crushed. 


End file.
